One memorable day...

I've been absorbed in Dicken's Great Expectations for the last few days (list #23) and this paragraph really jumped off the page and got me thinking...

"That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But, it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron, or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day."

I've come to learn that often it's not the decisions we agonise through and turn over and over in our heads, but rather those we make in a split second that have the most impact on our future...

what chains have been built from your decisions?

Things have been such a mess in my life lately. It seems that situations never just happen in singular form but rather we are bombarded from all sides at the same time. The greatest bomb was dropped a week ago when my sister, a friend and I were involved in a car accident; thankfully we are all 100% fine but have been left without a car and all the hassles that tag along with the situation: finances, insurance, insecurity and blame. As a result of all of this, I was unable to go to work for the week and was unceremoniously fired.

So here I am: car-less and job-less. But I refuse to be hopeless! Somehow in all of this God has taken my hurt, my insecurities, my cries of unfairness, my despair and my anger and blanketed it in an unexplainable peace.




I was listening to a sermon the other day where the preacher said:
It’s all about the cross,
Run to the cross,
If you can’t run: walk
If you can’t walk: crawl
And if you can’t even get up to crawl, just look
Look to the cross.

“I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I am at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can, and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions...” Romans 7: 23-25 (MSG)

I’m looking to the cross, are you?

Oh how he loves us...

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He loves us,
oh how He loves us,
how He loves us,.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
He loves us,
oh how He loves us,
how He loves us.

(John Mark mcMillan)

Every little thing is gonna be alright

So I’m still struggling with job issues.

As the job I have come to love becomes increasingly redundant, I note with dismay that financial demands don’t go on holiday but rather just invite confusion to come and stay.
Do I get a new job? Do I find a second job? Where do I even start looking? And it’s so much more than ‘should I stay or should I go’ when your emotions and fulfilment are wrapped up in it!

And yet somehow, I’m at peace. I have such an assurance that God has got this, that he will provide and that his plans will prevail.
“Go in peace, the journey on which you go is under the eye of the Lord” Judges 18:6 (ESV).
I like the way the Good news bible phrases it “You have nothing to worry about, the Lord is taking care of you on this trip”

I came across an article called “Finding a job, Keeping the faith” on a Catholic news site. (I’m neither Catholic nor big on following news sites, but somehow God creates these ‘coincidences’). The Pope was quoted on an address he gave to young people in Rome:

“My life has been willed by God since eternity. I am loved, I am necessary. God has a plan for me in the totality of history: He has a plan specifically for me."
The author goes on to say...
It is a dramatic paradigm shift for the job seeker, rightfully concerned about cell-phone and car-insurance bills that can't quite be shelved to eternity. But it is a mantra to keep you plugging away: "I am loved, I am necessary." And it is pretty amazing that God's plan for you, though it doesn't match your timeline, stands to be noticed in "the totality of history."
So take a deep breath and the long view. The master's plan is unfolding right now.

Yep...His plans are unfolding...

I hope it’s not some kind of sacrilege to use Bob Marley to sum up what the Pope says, but “every little thing is gonna be all right...”

Cookies for Chris

List #65 bake cookies for someone.

I love to bake. And even more so I love to bake for other people. Yesterday I whipped up a batch of amazingly chocolatety cookies for a new friend of mine.

I haven’t known Chris long, only a few months really and yet he has already had an incredible impact on my life.

Over the last few years and for various reasons I haven’t had very good experiences with boys...I’ve been left broken, confused and quite frankly completely unsure how to relate to the male species. And then suddenly this year, starting out at a new church, I’ve had the privilege of meeting not boys, but men. Honourable, righteous and courageous men. Guys who are genuine, who admit their imperfections, who chose their battles wisely, who listen to me and who look me in the eye.

Chris is one of them. He makes me laugh, he’s seen me cry, he’s dealt with my misplaced anger, he listens, and he speaks wisdom into my life. He’s teaching me guitar and he’s teaching me a new way; proving wrong all the ‘truths’ I’ve come to believe.

How good it is to finally meet the ‘good guys’, to have friends, to have brothers.

The prince of my childhood dreams might just be real, but to believe it I’ve first had to meet his brothers. And bake them cookies.



Choc chip cookies

Ingredients
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup flour
• 1 1/2 cups oats
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 slab milk chocolate- chopped
• 1 slap dark chocolate- chopped
Directions
1.Preheat oven to 180 degrees C.
2.In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Beat in the egg and then stir in the vanilla.
3.Stir dry ingredients into creamed butter and sugar. Add chocolate chips.
4.Drop by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 6 to 8 minutes in the preheated oven

enjoy!!!

Giraffes and Jesus...

I’ve been feeling a little...dispirited... lately, nothing I could place my finger on just a general heaviness that’s been weighing me down. So when my alarm went off at 5.30am last Tuesday all I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and hide from the world. Though something told me to ‘get up’, somehow I felt that something would happen that day. Without much enthusiasm I rolled out of bed and began to trudge through the day, I arrived at varsity and immediately regretted waking up: my lectures were a waste of time; I was tired and was becoming quickly frustrated at everything and everyone around me, so much for ‘something happening’ huh?
On the drive home as I turned over in my head my horrible day I was suddenly taken by surprise. There, in the middle of Pretoria, just over the fence at the side of the road, was a giraffe. No kidding.



Now if you had of said to me “what do you think might happen today?” the very last thing I would have replied is “maybe I’ll see a giraffe”. It seems a small thing (though giraffes are really quite big...) but in that moment I was able to have a laugh to myself, to appreciate beauty and to remember that God is in control. I was reminded of this verse:

“Look at the nations and watch and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if you were told” Habakkuk 1:5

You could have told me I was going to see a giraffe. I wouldn’t have believed you. Likewise God is going to do something in our lives, in our nation that will amaze us, which we would never believe, even if we were told.

Cool story, huh? Would you believe that that’s not even the end...?

Fast forward a week and I’m still feeling wracked with worry and concerns, my job is unstable, my finances unsure and issues I thought I was dealing with continue to rear their ugly heads. Frustrated and angry I began to fight with God in the car on the way to varsity. I was yelling and crying and generally making everyone else on the road think I was a crazy person. Eventually I called out to God “if you are really in this situation, if you are really looking after me I want a sign!” and in a juvenile, irritated moment I added “how about another giraffe hey God?!”. I didn’t see anything.

Until about 750m later, when behold, there was not one but TWO giraffes on the side of the road.

Oh how God loves me, oh yes how he loves me. That he, the God of the universe would take the time to humour my childish little requests. That he would command his creation to calm my ever-doubting heart.

Sometimes I just need to be encouraged that God is there, looking out for me.
And sometimes, he drops a giraffe (or two) in my path.
Wow.
God is good.

“The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.” Nahum 1:7

ouchie fingers...

list # 72: start guitar lessons

After years of of sporadic self taught playing I've finally decided to take playing seriously and started lessons Thursday! now for dealing with those ouchie fingers again...

"Practice, practice, practice. Practice until you get a guitar welt on your chest...if it makes you feel good don't stop until you see the blood from your fingers. then you'll know you're onto something" -Ted Nugent